You are enough.
Ever had someone tell you you’re not skinny enough, your butt or boobs are not big enough, your hair isn’t done right or the right color? I have been there time and time again, to the point I was broken down and beating myself up for what I thought I should look like based on what people around me would tell me I should look like or I should do with my body.
For multiple years I was in a relationship that broke me down instead of build me up. I had little self confidence to begin with and at the beginning they made me feel special like I think most relationships start out. Over time, I was sent photos of pretty much what they thought I should look like. Bigger butt, bigger boobs, thinner waistline, different color hair, to the point I was even more insecure than I was before our relationship started. There were other ways they broke me down too but I won’t get into that today.
“What did you do to overcome the negativity in my life?” You may ask. I got up, I stopped listening and I did. I got up out of the pit I had put myself in, drinking and smoking to make myself feel better and numb the Internal feeling I had about myself. I stopped listening to all the toxic people who were putting me down because it made them feel better about themselves. Lastly I made up my mind to do what I needed to do to get where I wanted to be and be happy with the body God gave me. I would wake up early and work out before my 8-10hr shift and I ate healthier than I have ever done in my life until I was happy with who I was inside and out. I noticed my inner appearance of myself sky rocketed with my self esteem as my outward appearance became what I had always wanted.
Since then I have entered the most amazing relationship of my life. I have two amazing boys that are 1 and 2, any moms out there know the mental and physical struggle that comes along with being a mother no matter how many. My husband who never ceases to amaze me with little gestures of his love, whether it’s writing a note on my sandwich when he packs my lunch for when after he’s worked a whole day and I’ve been busy with the boys all day or just hugging me when he can tell I’ve had a long day and knows I’ve need one from him.
What I want you to take away from this, if nothing else, is you are amazing and beautiful. If you feel less than that it’s up to you to make the difference. I never in a million years thought I could get where I wanted on my own but that exactly what it took. Me, doing it for me, you can’t do it for anyone else because they will let you down and they will not appreciate or see the effort you put in to you. No one can say you aren’t beautiful because you are unique, no one else looks like you! Regardless if they are the same height, same size clothes, same color hair... Stop comparing yourself to everyone else like I know you are doing right now when I name those things off. You are enough !
- Jessica